Todd

Todd

Todd

Toddalomius cuntymaximus

Meet Todd. He works in retail and sleeps in a nest above T. J. Maxx. He lives (and tweets) fashion and brags about his clothes, but we all know he is using that employee discount at Macy’s. When whipping out his Discover card, his favorite expression is “like shit through a goose.” He is a total size queen. He seems very sweet in person but is nasty in the nest. He won’t let his lovers sleep over and he eats Krispy Kreme donuts during and after coitus. He went through a horrendous breakup with an ornery lil’ twink and is feeling a little fluffy these days after a two-month carb bender. He recently started doing Zumba and the male version of Kegels. His drink of choice is a Cowboy Cocksucker: Baileys, whiskey, and whipped cream. After four of them he can karaoke a perfect version of “How Many Fucks” by Erika Jayne, with choreography. Todd is approachable, but is known for extreme bouts of sarcasm. Be prepared for Joan Rivers–type heckling and label-whoring. Overall, he is a magnificent, very entertaining bird. He is best for brunching and for having the best GIFs ever.

Dimensions: 12 x 12in | 30.48 x 30.48cm on 3in | 7.62cm gallery-wrapped canvas - acrylic paint and mixed media covered in heavy resin. 
$ 2,950.00