Meet Mary Francis. She lives in a nest between an Orangetheory and a green juice bar. She hasn’t eaten a carb in two years and has had self-inflicted diarrhea for six months. She is the prettiest, richest bird you will ever meet but she is crazier than a shithouse rat. She is the chair of the big “help-us-help-you” organization for the Junior League this year and is currently putting her husband in debt redoing the kitchen, powder room, dining room, and living room for the event. She secretly could give a rat’s ass about philanthropic work, but loves any opportunity to show off all her shit and make the other birds feel less than. Rumor has it she pegs her husband to get what she wants (Google it). Her decorator is a big, loud, bitchy blue jay. When they drink chardonnay together, they secretly pop her kid’s Adderall and get white foam in the corners of their mouth and gossip about the other bird’s husbands getting vasectomies. They smoke cigarettes and do anything they can to have diarrhea 24/7, because skinny birds have diarrhea. Mary Francis loves luncheons and tennis. She has a panic attack if she’s not invited to everything and secretly thinks everyone is out to get her. She seems friendly, but is toxic and extremely passive-aggressive. She will attack unprovoked. Use caution when approaching.
Dimensions: 12 x 12in | 30.48 x 30.48cm on 3in | 7.62cm gallery-wrapped canvas - acrylic paint and mixed media covered in heavy resin.
