Meet Muffykins. Muffykins lives in a nest of shredded parking tickets above a spa for vagina steaming. She drives a Range Rover and listens to “Firework” by Katy Perry every day on the way to her barre class. Muffykins can sing, talk on the phone, take a selfie, and drive the car all at once. She also does cardio in contouring makeup and four-inch hoops. Once she thought she got a sign from God in a spin class because there was a sweat mark on her Lululemons in the shape of Jesus, so now she does spin religiously. She tells her friends “Jesus doesn’t want my thighs to touch.” Muffykins likes to wear Gucci, but her dad cut off her trust fund because she dated a broke poet who is famous for having three gonads. Her family nicknamed him the Sperminator. Muffykins takes Xanax with her coffee and likes to vacuum the carpet until the vacuum tracks line up perfectly. Since her daddy cut her off, she wears athleisure a lot. She has perfected the “joe-n-toe”: when you troll for ass at Starbucks with a camel toe. Muffykins gets a little crazy when she drinks. She gets sassy with waitstaff, and calls people “hun.” She thinks bread baskets are possessed by the devil and has a problem with caressing busboys at restaurants; she calls them all “Glen Coco.” Muffykins shoots tequila and then she clenches a lime and puts her whole fist in her mouth, and she says that’s how you get “a real man.” Muffykins is harmless and easily approachable. She is often passive-aggressive but not in the super-scary, psycho bitch way.
Dimensions: 12 x 12in | 30.48 x 30.48cm on 3in | 7.62cm gallery-wrapped canvas - acrylic paint and mixed media covered in heavy resin.
